Begin again

A tool for being honest about where we go from here

It's easier to resist at the beginning than at the end.

Leonardo da Vinci

The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.

Anna Quindlen

After a few wonderful weeks away from my computer, I’m back. It’s a joy to take time away. To spend time with my family. To sleep in. To move at our rhythm rather than the rhythm imposed on us by work, by school, and by others.

Starting back up again feels challenging though. It feels foggy. Disorienting. Cue the many voices that capitalize on resolutions: join a gym, go on a diet, stop drinking, save more money, etc. My perfectionist - who loves to tell me I can do more or do better or do more better - jumps in at times like these.

Deep breath. Let’s take a different approach.

Let’s begin again.

We all have begun things that we didn’t finish. Things that we started, did for a bit, and then gave up because it got hard, we got busy, it lost luster, we lost interest, etc. Possibly some negative self talk jumps in here: “Yeah, we did that before but we’re not strong / disciplined / smart / wise / good, etc. enough to “really” do it.” If that - or some permutation of that - shows up, you are not alone. We all have times when we think those things.

When we say begin again, though, there are hints of gentleness, understanding, and compassion. Notes of self acceptance, honesty, and forgiveness. There is more nuance, texture, and dimension. Beginning again implies learning and resolve and grit. When we begin again, we aren’t ending the story with giving up. We are writing another sentence, paragraph, or chapter. One that starts with, “they began again.”

Beginning again offers us the chance to look back at what we’ve done before with open eyes. With an honesty about where we did well such that we want to begin again AND an honesty about where we fell down.

A great tool for that kind of inquiry is the “PPCO”. I learned to use this tool more than a decade ago through the incredible folx at the Creative Education Foundation and I have used it ever since. This four part evaluative structure emphasizes the positive (positives and potential) while acknowledging the hard parts (concerns and overcoming challenges). For example, consider something you might want to begin again. Now, consider these prompts:

1. Plusses: what are at least three plusses to this ideas?

2. Potential: what are at least three potential outcomes of this idea? What opportunities might it lead to? What might you gain from doing it?

3. Concerns: what concerns do I have about this idea? What challenges might we I have to overcome to make this happen?

4. Overcome: come up with some ways you might address the concerns you already identified (from #3).

Here’s what I love about this tool: it allows us to get to know the idea and how we feel about it better. It allows us to connect more deeply to the why of what we’re doing and to better understand what might stand in our way while still honoring that there are things that stand in the way. It allows us to be open to the full spectrum of the idea - the pluses and the minuses and - because we come up with possible ways to address our concerns - we are already in a generative mode. We’re imagining why, what, and how it’s possible.

The PPCO asks us to look with multiple lenses (emotional, strategic, analytical, and logistical). It asks us to look with honesty. Honesty with yourself matters.

Being honest with yourself is not the same as speaking meanly to yourself. Rather, being honest with yourself lets us be observant, curious, kind, and generative. Remember, you are not stopping. You are beginning again! High five!

In the spirit of the new year, in what ways can you begin again in 2023? Whatever comes up for you is the right answer. In the spirit of the PPCO, here are a few prompts to play with:

• What did you like about this activity when you did do it? What good things do you remember? What benefits did you experience?

• What did you hope to gain when you picked up this effort originally? What do you hope to gain now?

• What concerns come up for you in picking this up again?

• What stopped you before? How might you overcome that obstacle if this shows up again?

Welcome to this new year! I hope it begins, and begins again as the weeks go by, with us asking questions and exploring answers together.